waiting for a miracle

Our biggest hero

So this post is a bit hard to write. We have had so many complications since Jeremiah’s surgery. We know God is looking out for our little miracle throughout all of this. We are so grateful for all of your prayers and messages. We haven’t been able to respond to many messages simply due to the craziness that has become our lives for now.

We have had a bit of time to process and feel more ready to share. We were reluctant to share too many details about our son’s personal life as he hasn’t got the chance to be able to agree or disagree and we are always conscious about the future for him. He will grow into an older child, teenager and adult who will have a digital imprint. So we don’t want to embarrass him in any way.

As we have come to terms with everything (after so many tears and for me, crying myself to sleep with this heartache for my baby boy and his pain) we have decided that we will raise our son to embrace his abilities just as much as his disabilities. So hopefully what we share now will be a platform to bring awareness to the following conditions/complications and also provide details for specific prayers for healing.

And we also hope that the following will also raise awareness about Spina Bifida, including the severity and complications that many children and adults have to deal with. Perhaps this awareness will encourage others to speak out and pave the way so that others going through this will have someone/somewhere to look to for information, clarification and guidance in a very (at times) dark and unfamiliar territory which at times can almost break you as a person. If we can at least provide one family out there with some hope (I know God will give this as He works through our son), some reference point and somewhere to look for what they might expect (like our ivf journey has provided to many) then I know that sharing the following will be a blessing to others and will also pave the way to normalise what many people go through on a daily basis.

Following surgery Jeremiah has currently lost the use of his bladder and bowel. We are hoping and praying that by some sheer miracle that this can heal. There isn’t a huge chance but with God we know anything is possible. He needs regular catheters to empty his bladder and these are so traumatic for him. He cries until he often vomits. We had hoped to avoid this by doing the surgery but it was almost inevitable if we didn’t do the surgery. Please pray for healing. Scott is doing regular catheters. This has totally changed our lives as we know it. We can’t send Jeremiah to daycare like this just yet and that may mean Scott deferring uni which also means he will become Jeremiah’s carer and that means he can’t get a job to help pay the bills (BUT Jeremiah is our number one priority so he is worth everything and more). We just want our little boy to be free from these complications. We pray each nappy for some wee in the nappy. And we pray for poo too. The things we took for granted before and now we are so desperately praying for full nappies.

Jeremiah had started walking and climbing and being the happy kid we know but over the weekend he took a turn for the worse. He couldn’t keep anything down. He had multiple vomits and then stopped trying to eat or drink.

On Friday night he had a cannula put in. It took a doctor 3 attempts (after we said that only an anaesthetist has been able to get one in). He finally gave up and called an anaesthetist to come and put one in. Then first go it went in. Jeremiah had fluids and antibiotics and by Saturday morning seemed a lot better. Walking around and playing with his bestie.

Unfortunately the cannula stopped working and had to be taken out. By Sunday morning and after many vomits Jeremiah became lethargic. He couldn’t keep anything in at all. An anaesthetist was called at 11.30am. We waited all day for someone. But they were too busy. By the evening a doctor finally came. He wanted to put a line in through Jeremiah’s nose to his stomach. We politely declined because this wouldn’t solve the problem of Jeremiah vomiting the fluids back up. The doctor seemed to then disregard us and did not page an anaesthetist. We requested many times overnight but still waited. When the day shift staff arrived (who had paged the day before for a cannula from anaesthetist) were not impressed that our son was so dehydrated and still not eating and throwing up all liquid.

Jeremiah went for a ct scan to find out what’s going on. He has a small bleed in his brain and his brain has shifted a bit post surgery. This is a wait and watch and hope and pray. It’s in a position where they can’t operate to remove it. This may be causing the vomiting. As he moves his brain goes a bit wobbly and he vomits.

He has spinal fluid leakage down near the wound. He is on bed rest (currently that’s okay because he’s so sick and lethargic but this will be so tricky as he becomes his usual self again). If the bed rest doesn’t fix the leakage, then he will have to go for another urgent operation to fix this.

He has lost the ability to walk over the last 36 hours. This could be due to dehydration or a number of things. We are praying he starts to walk again when he’s allowed to be up.

The fevers are still here. He has a virus on top of everything which he has caught since coming to hospital.

Jeremiah has lost 400g over the last 7 days. Not surprising as he can’t keep anything down.

Back to the cannula. He finally got one in at 3.50pm yesterday (Monday). He waited for 28 hours and 20 minutes to get fluid. Not good enough care for a one year old especially post surgery. The nurses tried their best though.

So in summary Jeremiah has:

⁃ A small bleed in the brain

⁃ Spinal fluid leakage

⁃ A virus

⁃ Loss of bladder and bowels requiring multiple catheters a day

⁃ Unable to keep food down due to the fluid in the brain

⁃ Loss of walking again

⁃ Lethargic

⁃ In pain (probably headaches)

⁃ Low pressure in the brain causing him to throw up anything he eats or drinks

We love our son more each day. Nothing could make us love him any less. To us he is absolutely perfect. With or without any of the complications above, he is going to fulfil his potential. We will help him embrace everything that comes his way throughout life. We’ve learnt so much about Spina Bifida in the last two weeks but especially this last week. We’ve had many tears and worries for our son. But we keep reminding ourselves of the reason we named him Jeremiah (Jeremiah 29 v 11-14 in the Bible). So we place our full faith and trust in God. He’s got the power to take all of this from our son and give him complete healing, or we know He will use this to bring glory to Him anyway.

We so appreciate all of the prayers. Jeremiah just wants his Mumma so there is very limited down time for me to be on social media much at all but we are reading all of your messages of support. Thank you so much. Scott has been the “go to” person because he doesn’t have a clingy koala (Jeremiah) attached to him for what feels like 24/7 (I’m not complaining, the cuddles are great but I wish he wasn’t feeling so scared that he needs to cling to me for dear life and out of fear of what will happen to him next.) So my ability to read/respond etc has been so short. And in the short times I’ve had a chance to sit, then a nurse or doctor walks in or Jeremiah vomits all over me or something. Or I try to eat. Eating is so hard to do as I just don’t seem to get a long enough chance.

We really appreciate all of the support and prayers. We know that everyone will get behind our boy with a lifetime of support as he learns to embrace his condition and not be limited by it. We also know that with his cheeky sense of humour he will good around one day and won’t allow anyone the opportunity to laugh at it bully him. Kids can be so cruel, but kids can also be so incredibly kind, caring, compassionate and resilient when they have this behaviour modelled for them. So as he grows older, he will be surrounded by supportive friends, families and educators. We will ensure this for our boy.

Thank you again so much for your prayers and we ask for you to continue to pray for complete healing for or boy, for our boy to be able to accept and embrace what lies ahead of him and for us to be the best parents that we can be for our boy. xxx

1 Comment »

Thank You

You may have noticed that over the last 12 months we’ve been a bit quiet on the blog side of things. We have managed to just keep up with posting the weekly photos (albeit some late) but the blogs haven’t been coming. There have been so many posts I’ve written in my head to share with new and expectant mothers and fathers, but I just haven’t had the time to sit down and put these in writing. It’s funny how what we imagine motherhood to be and the reality are very different things. In a good way. I had always imagined that I would have a baby and then toddler who would sleep well. Have day sleeps and in these times I would get all of the housework and anything else done (yes, I can almost hear you laughing and falling off your chair as the laughter tears roll down your face – it’s okay, I will be doing that one day at myself once I’ve had some sleep – so when I’m 80). I thought I would even have a nap here or there myself when he would nap. Reality is different for every parent and for every child. Our reality has been a baby and toddler that doesn’t sleep much. He wakes all through the night every 55 minutes to 2 hours. And day sleeps we were lucky if we got 30-40 minutes out of him once, and extremely lucky if that happened twice. So the time to sit and put thoughts down have been very minimal. Those precious nap times were spent getting bottles sterilised and the bare essentials done. Oh, and don’t even get me started on pumping – I’ll save that for another post when I eventually get there.

img_9909

Jeremiah as he went under for the MRI (they did this in my arms first then we moved him to the bed).

So that explains why we haven’t shared as much as we would have liked to. And with that as a background for the compounded sleep deprivation, that may explain why we just haven’t been able to find the words we really wanted to say thank you for what has just been going on over the last few days. Let me attempt to now – with my still very sleep deprived and now mental overloaded brain (from the stress of the situation for my baby) express our heartfelt thanks.

First let’s just quickly go back a little while. I shared this the other day on our social media page:

I’ve learned a couple of things over the last few days. One of them is always trust your instincts and if you don’t find a medical professional who is willing to run some tests, then keep trying until you find one that will.

I’ve learned that God brings people together for reasons. At Hillsong conference last year Jeremiah was in the middle of being chronically sick. We hadn’t found a doctor who really looked at him. We happened to have a lady on our door as a group concierge who is a paediatric nurse. She asked me if I had taken Jeremiah to be seen by a doctor. We got into a few great conversations and she gave me the name of a paediatrician that she had worked with and she said I should try her. This nurse reconfirmed to me that there were red flags (the rattle in his chest that each doctor said is ‘normal,’ the snoring) and my boy needed to be seen.

Fast forward 5 months and I finally got a doctor who wrote a paediatrician referral even though it “probably wasn’t needed,” but I still insisted. And when I called up the next afternoon for an appointment the paediatrician was booked out until February but they had just had a cancellation for the following day which we jumped on.

The paediatrician was lovely. She listened to my/our concerns and she looked at our boy. She observed him. And she decided to do an MRI to rule out anything major. She got us on the emergency list for the following week.

On the 2nd January we got the call to bring in Jeremiah the next day, my birthday. As he was on the emergency list there was no guarantee that his appointment time would stay and there was a chance we could have him fasting all day only to be bumped to the next day. I asked for prayers for this not to happen. That was my initial worry. Unfortunately at 3pm we had been bumped a few times already and our boy was starving. He had no idea why we weren’t feeding him and it was getting harder to distract him enough.

At 3pm we were told that unfortunately there were too many emergencies and we had been bumped to the following day. My first concern was to hurry up and get some milk into him. So before we could do anything I was feeding Jeremiah and he gulped it all down.

The hospital was lovely and let us stay overnight so we didn’t have to do the 3 hour return trip again. And we were first on the priority list for the morning. Jeremiah ate so much for the rest of the afternoon.

The next day, the 4th January Jeremiah was doing such a great job fasting and was still mostly happy, even though he kept signing “more” and tugging at my shirt. They took him in at 10.30am just as he was dancing to the wiggles. He went under so fast and then we could have a quick bite to eat ourselves.

When they brought him up to recovery he was already wide eyed and being carried by a nurse. That’s our kid – even a general anaesthetic didn’t knock him out long.

So getting back to trusting your instincts. I wish mine were off but they were on, and I think my years of early education study have paid off. The MRI picked up some abnormalities.

The first is a lipoma (I think that’s what they called it) which is a fatty lump at the bottom of his spine and where it is located they call it a tethered cord because it’s attached to his spinal cord. Thankfully with this early diagnosis there are some great solutions. He is down to have urgent surgery on his spine to remove this. Without the surgery he would eventually lose the use of his legs, ability to control his bladder and bowels and a range of their things. It’s part of the spina bifida family of neuroscience. Praise God I took all of that folinic acid before and during pregnancy otherwise this would have been much worse.

The surgery is classed as urgent and as such the spinabifida team along with the neurological team are discussing the surgery happening in the next two weeks, possibly three weeks. First we have to get two diagnostic tests done. And then there’s the rehab etc after the surgery.

That’s as much as we know really for now. It’s a waiting for when this surgery will take place.

They also picked up additional fluid on the brain. Many people outgrow this as the body grows but it will be monitored by regular MRIs over the coming months and then years. The intervention for this is pretty invasive and serious so we really hope that he just grows well and develops well without needing any surgery for this.

And once this all settles down he will need to have his tonsils out. And then perhaps he will start sleeping better, or at least longer than 1.5-2 hours stints.

I’m so grateful that we met that nurse at the Hillsong conference. If we hadn’t then I wouldn’t have been referred to this particular paediatrician and perhaps this would not be picked up for even years (the neurosurgeon and the spinabifida team were really surprised that we had initiated the pick up which led to the findings). And I’m so thankful to his amazing daycare teacher (I call her his daycare mum) because she had also noticed what I had and that gave me the confidence to pursue further medical testing in the face of feeling like a parent that was being over concerned. Trust your instincts. This could have just saved Jeremiah ending up wheelchair bound.

Thanks for your thoughts and prayers for our little boy to be seen for the MRI so he didn’t have to keep fasting longer than needed. We request now your prayers for the impending surgery to happen asap and for it to be a great success without any complications, and for his recovery and rehab to go amazingly well afterwards.

Oh and one more thing I’ve learned. Plan for the unexpected. When we came in for the MRI it was meant to be that day and then come home. And there we were still in the hospital 3 days later. I packed extra clothes in case there was any reactions to the anaesthetic and we had to stay in overnight. And then I packed enough for one more night just in case. Well I’m so glad we did. Today we’ve run out of clean clothes etc. I’m just glad I took enough for Jeremiah. Although today he used up the last of his outfits playing outside so we are down to borrowed hospital singlets and I’m so thankful for those. Always pack more than you need.

There will be a tough/challenging few months ahead of us all, and then ongoing assessments right into adulthood for Jeremiah, but we know God is bigger than this and He’s got this. Jeremiah 29v11-14 reminds us all the time that God’s got this, and He hears our prayers and your prayers xxx

(Sharing it here for everyone who has followed Jeremiah’s journey right from before he was a teeny tiny embryo and also so that we can update our friends and family easier – as you can imagine we are a bit overwhelmed at the moment so can’t possibly update each of our friends and family as much as we’d like to)

For anyone new reading this post, that gives you a bit of a background to this blog. And before I go further, I’ve had many messages asking what were the signs that I had picked up. There were many tiny ones, but the ones that stood out to me most were that Jeremiah would have a left wobble. His left leg would lag a bit and often cause him to trip over many times a day. And the other thing was that he would often be standing and just fall. The team at the hospital said that this could be the nerves in his legs losing the message from the brain and then they stop working so he falls. None of it was stand out to anyone else, but my gut was telling me this wasn’t normal. And then along with his larger head I was worried.

We hadn’t planned on sharing about his MRI that he was going to have. But God had other plans. I didn’t want to worry anyone unnecessarily and I also didn’t want to make a big deal out of it. But the thing that prompted me to share about his MRI initially was that there was a chance that we could be bumped off the list after fasting all day to have to wait for the next day – we were on an emergency list for the MRI. So I had put up a post on my private page asking friends to pray that Jeremiah didn’t have to fast for long. I guess that sparked a bit of worry as we were then inundated with messages asking what was wrong with Jeremiah. We didn’t want to scare anyone and just wanted to wait for the results once it eventually happened.

img_9942

Happy to be eating after the MRI

As we posted above, the results weren’t what we had hoped for. Actually they were completely surprising. I had been concerned that it could have been a brain tumour (and our paediatrician said that had been her concern too). But Spina bifida? My son? Our son? But I took all that folinic acid, it can’t be… But it wasn’t picked up in pregnancy and we had so many ultrasounds and the sonographer was exceptionally amazing and thorough (not that we would have changed anything if it had been picked up, we wanted this baby and no results would have changed anything about him coming into our family but anything picked up back then would have made us research how we could best support him). We were thankful that his form of spina bifida is considered low grade, but then after I did some searching and joined a few support groups for his exact condition, I realised that the low grade doesn’t mean that it doesn’t completely impact his life. In many cases people have been in so much pain, or have had surgeries every year, or many other things. BUT there have been other great stories. So we have been trying to be realistic, but also remaining positive. And the fact sheets the hospital gave us started with “lower limb paralysis and spina bifida,” and proceeded to “Tethered cord and Spina Bifida” and “bladder management and Spina Bifida.” None of these gave us much positivity. They were all about mobility aids and other medical things I hadn’t really heard much about until now.

Anyway prayers were answered from the post above. Thank you for all praying. His surgery was scheduled straight away for this coming Tuesday. It couldn’t have happened this week just gone (something to do with operating theatres) but they were trying hard for the week after and said that was going to be tough to get it in but they thought it was urgent enough and would push for it. So thank you for praying hard – the surgery is going ahead at the earliest chance.

Photos above: being measured up pre surgery, and then waiting for the ultrasound – he fell asleep in Scott’s arms. He was so over tired.

This brings me to sharing the post above that we shared. After we shared that, again we were inundated with messages. We were still coming to terms with everything ourselves and what this meant (we still are really, and I think post surgery it will really hit home, we are trying not to think that far ahead just yet). And then my beautiful IVF sisters got together and started something that we would never have asked for or even contemplated asking for. I don’t know the behind the scenes stuff, because I wasn’t there, but I’ll tell you from my perspective.

Vicki messaged me and asked if I would allow the girls to set up a go fund me page. And of course she knows me so well that she had to really present her ‘case’ to me. Haha. She knew exactly how I would respond and that I would balk at anyone giving us money and pre-empted everything I would say with her reasons why I should allow them to do this for us. She knew how completely out of our comfort zone this would make us feel, but she said something so spot on that I realised that we should allow my IVF sisters to do this. She said, “by being so self-reliant and independent, I rob others of the opportunity to bless me.” She went on to say how I would do this for anyone else and how would it make me feel each time we have helped someone else out if I wasn’t allowed the opportunity to help them. So with that in mind, Scott and I awkwardly allowed my IVF sisters to set up the go fund me page.

Renee was in charge of setting up the page. I tried to put her off a bit to wait (I guess I was still feeling so out of my comfort zone) but she wrote the page up and then asked me to read it to make sure it is okay. She is amazing with words (how do you do that with a toddler?! You amaze me so much!), and before we knew it, it was ready to go and she posted it. And then shared, shared and shared it. And so did each of my IVF sisters. They all got behind this. And then their friends and so on. Thank you all!

[I have to add here a very cool story (maybe this is my distracted “squirrel” moment, but bare with me). In hospital in the bed opposite us was a boy and his dad, out here on a tourist visa from Austria with the whole family. Jeremiah, being the socialite that he is, at his first opportunity walked over and tried to hug the boy. So sweet. Even a language barrier doesn’t stop children making friends. We got talking to these guys while in hospital and made friends with them. We exchanged contact details and Scott said if they needed a place to stay that they are welcome to come to our place anytime. The boys loved each other and Jeremiah had gained a big brother. A couple of days after we left the hospital post MRI we got a call and I won’t go into the details but we gave these guys a place to stay for a few days. They came to stay with the whole family of 5. We had a great time having them here and were grateful for the friendship. Seeing the kids all play together was wonderful and us 4 adults got to have adult conversation after the kids all went to bed. Life-long friends we have all made here through the hospital experience – see good in any situation.]

Images above: The starlight heroes, waiting for the MRI while watching The Wiggles, playing at the hospital and waiting for an ultrasound.

So while all of this stuff was happening, we were happily distracted with our new friends and trying to give them a welcoming and happy beginnings of their Australian trip. Also why I was able not to think too much about what was starting out with the go fund me and trying not to be scared. Thanks to that beautiful family (in case you read this).

So the page went live and then over the first 24 hours they raised a crazy amount. I remember thinking their $5k goal was funny but I giggled and thought just let them do what they want, and it’s okay that we won’t reach that goal. (Well God had other plans and so did all of you!)

They surpassed that goal and went on to hit 10K in the 3 days! All through sharing and contributing… Thank you everyone. Here’s our little thank you:

We can’t believe what you’ve all done. Thank you so much for your generosity and support at this time. It’s definitely restored faith in humanity in so many ways. We don’t feel deserving of this at all but we are forever grateful.

Thank you for liking, sharing and/or contributing to this fund set up by my beautiful ivf sisters. We’ve stuck together and supported each through the highs and lows of pregnancy and of motherhood. This group has always been there for each other at any time of the day or night. Many times at 3am we are up talking to each other asking or sharing support/advice in those challenging times of motherhood.

These girls have got behind us with this diagnosis. They have googled and researched what it means and the impacts it could have. They care so deeply. And they have really been there for us through this. They have been sharing this go fund me page all over the place. I’m so so so blown away by this type of support (and slightly embarrassed as we just don’t ask for stuff like this ever). It’s brought so many tears to our eyes. We don’t know the degree to which this condition will impact our lives, and we don’t know if Jeremiah will eventually need a shunt to drain his brain fluid (we are praying this resolves itself) and then on top of all of this my back surgery will cost $17k out of pocket (that felt like we would never be able to afford that) plus the 3 months recovery off work.

So what you’ve all done here is to help us at a very stressful time emotionally and already financially. You’ve given us this gift of a lifetime. And any of the left over funds will be the start to my back surgery savings so I can be freed from this pain and be the mother I so long to be. The mother that can rock her kid to sleep rather than asking Scott to hold him because I can’t. That dream may just become a reality one day.

So from the bottom of our hearts please accept this heartfelt thank you. We are so grateful and can’t every thank you all enough. This shows the power of coming together for a common good. Thank you and may God bless you so much more than you could dream of xxxx

img_0251

Over the last few days we have been so blown away by it all. On one hand we are struggling to come to terms with everything and are trying to remain positive. And we are fearful, scared, worried… all of those things and more about the surgery. All of the what ifs… if there’s a complication, will our boy ever walk again? They have to remove two of the vertebrae to get to the spinal cord, will it all go back in okay? And the scar – wow it seems pretty big looking at many others. Parents have said that the scar has remained red and blotchy and not changed over years. All of this was stuff we hadn’t ever thought we would be talking about, especially for our boy.

Photos above: a reminder of the meaning behind Jeremiah’s name (Jeremiah 29 v11-14) and Jeremiah playing in the starlight room during his fast.

But you know what, Spina Bifida doesn’t define anyone. It is a challenge that I don’t personally know much about yet, but you are who you are as a person, not as a condition. Back in late primary school and early high school I used to push other children who were in wheelchairs around at lunchtimes. I remember our school would ask if any other children wanted to hang out with or push the children around, all with varying degrees of disabilities. I ended up becoming really good friends with a girl who had spina bifida and was unable to walk, who needed a wheelchair all of the time. She got bullied. I got bullied. Kids bullied anyone who was slightly different to them back then (I guess some still do this) and they bullied anyone who associated with them. I couldn’t understand why the kids would tease her and tease her and then me. She was such a beautiful, kind-hearted girl. She ended up changing schools, but I’ll never forget her. She taught me without realising it to see the person, not the condition or outward appearance. So I’ve never cared what anyone looks like, talks like, walks like or doesn’t walk etc. But now that my child has this diagnosis, my mind has been travelling back to school. Seeing the kids taunting my friend and I couldn’t stop them, they just teased me too. Will this be a life for my boy? I surely hope not. I hope that this will be a blessing. That he will learn to continue to love and accept everyone regardless of outward appearance. At the hospital he was going up to any child and trying to hug them. Many of these children had some form of tubes attached to machines, so I was worried he would hurt them, but when I looked up into the parent’s eyes I saw tears in their eyes. I think that because as parents, we see our children as them. We don’t care how perfect or imperfect they are, because to us they are exactly as they should be and perfect as they are. And all we really want is for our children to be loved and accepted.

So perhaps this will be a blessing. I have always felt like God has placed a calling over Jeremiah. He will do great things. Have a heart that loves and is kind. I don’t care if he’s the smartest or the best at anything (or the worst), as long as he has compassion, love and the yearning to help others. So maybe this will bring him to a calling field I didn’t know previously.

Anyway, getting back to the funding page. The initial goal of the 5K surpassed and then they hit the 10K with all of your contributions. We actually still can’t fathom that sort of money. There have been so many tears shed here of absolute gratitude. And then I feel helpless because I can’t actually thank everyone personally as I would like to because I don’t know everyone. So can I please just ask, that if you know someone who contributed, can you please pass on our absolutely genuine and heartfelt thank you. We really don’t have enough words to express our gratitude. So perhaps I need more languages… gracias, merci, grazie, arigato, do jeh, daw-dyeh, danke, khop khun mak kha, spasiba, takk, toda, dankie, shukraan. I also need a language of the heart to express this… Our hearts are so overwhealmed with gratitude, joy and we are absolutely humbled by this. When I was speaking to my sister, through tears, I said to her that I don’t know how to say thank you big enough to match this. She said, you just simply say “thank you.” She said there is a time to give and a time to receive. She said right now is our time to receive these blessings.

So I just want to truly thank each and every one of you. We are humbled. Brought to tears many times over. We have that lump in your throat where you don’t know if you’ll cry tears of hold it together. Thank you everyone. Some of the stories behind the gifts have totally blown us and left me a sobbing mess (of gratitude). Honestly, thank you all so much. And thank you for your personal messages and well wishes. More tears for each one.

img_0238

Photo: a visit to the beach before the weeks of no water play – this kid LOVES the water. And so does our dog. We had planned to do this on my birthday but then we were at the hospital so we had a belated beach visit.

Now something else than totally caught me off guard was what I’m about to say next, and the next group of people I need to thank. My IVF mums. My IVF sisters, family through our roads travelled to get our precious babies. You ladies have gone above and beyond. I don’t know how to ever repay you guys. I really don’t know how. Unbeknown to me, on top of the go fund me page, these ladies were all scheming behind the scenes. A group of 54 women. Each with their own challenges and expenses. Together, they came together and collected and then contributed that to the fund which made it rise so fast, over 3k amongst themselves! When Vicki called to tell me this I was a sobbing mess on the phone. I just had nothing to mutter except “thank you” through the tears. To each and every one of you ladies, I have tried to say thank you, but words just don’t do enough. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. I’ve been shaking and numb and tingly for the last few days as I process the go fund me with what everyone has done and then this. I was a sobbing mess long after the call and have tears now. Thank you each so much.

I guess the thing that has really brought me to tears again and again is the care and thoughts from everyone for our son, but that they have also included my back in this. The quote has been $17K out of pocket for the surgery to give me my freedom and relief from the pain. To enable me to be the mum I had always dreamed of for Jeremiah. This surgery we would have to borrow money to do and was definitely a few years off at the earliest – Scott is still studying so we would need to wait for him to enter the workforce for a while before borrowing is even an option. The girls have all said that anything additional raised that we don’t need for the hospital stay with Jeremiah and the following costs associated with this, to use to put towards my back surgery. That just shows the beautiful hearts of these mums. They saw a need with our current situation but they also saw the potential to help us with my back also. This also has brought me to tears many times over.

I never knew how many people might like me. I was bullied so much at school that I figured I’m just one of those people that no one likes for whatever reason. I’ve always had a sensitive heart, so perhaps that was the reason. I’ve never gone out of my way to upset anyone. So this support has thrown my own world into a spin. Vicki keeps telling me to let it be a reflection that people do like me. I am still finding this super hard to believe. We are still left so speechless, the kind of rambling speechless, by everything.

So as I wrap this up, I just want to thank our IVF family, and each person who has supported in any way, shape or form. Thank you for each of your messages – and sorry if we are slow in replying, our little super active toddler didn’t get the memo that we are trying to process everything (the tough and the wonderful). We are eternally grateful, and can’t thank you enough so please accept our deepest thanks for the support you have all given to us.

img_0065

We ask that you pray for the surgeons who will be operating on Jeremiah, for the anaesthetist making him sleep, for the nurses who will care for him, for us as we care for him and for the entire situation, we ask for prayers for a speedy recovery without any complications, and especially for the initial 48 hours where he is meant to lie still. Please pray that his excess brain fluid will resolve on its own without any need for medical intervention. Thank you so much!

img_1373

A message someone sent to me in the last few days has been playing on my mind. And I’m so grateful as we embark on this new journey as a family. The message read:
“for I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in wasteland.” Isaiah 43v19.

img_0150

Thank you for all helping to make a pathway through the wilderness. May God bless you abundantly and beyond measure. xxx

5 Comments »